My husband and I are teaching our child to count: he does it in English, obviously, and I do it in Russian. In order to teach his son count to two, my husband has to impress one word upon him: "two." And suggest that, with some exceptions, adding an "s" to the end of any given word will make it plural. Example: One ball. Two balls. One cup. Two cups. Here is one cup. Here are two cups. Here are the cups. Note how "two" and "cups" stay immutable.
Not so for me. First, I have to teach him numbers: "odin, dva, tri" ("one, two, three"). Then I have to explain that one rarely uses "odin" in counting things in general -- one uses "raz" (literally, "one time") instead. Then I have to mention that "odin" is actually masculine, as in "odin myach" ("one ball"), while to properly address a feminine noun, such as "chashka" ("a cup"), one uses "odna": "odna chashka." Further, I have to explain to my child that although he may point to the cups, and count "raz, dva" ("one, two"), in accounting for the precise number of the cups, he has to say "dve chashki", and, while counting balls, he should say "dva mayacha" (and on it goes). Moreover, the general plural of "myach" ("a ball") is "myachi" ("balls"), "myacha" when coupled with "dva" or "tri" ('two or three balls"), and "myachej" when coupled with, say, "pyat'" ("five"). Cups fare only slightly better.
So far, I refuse to count objects that are neuter, and therefore have their own set of rules. "A window? I see nothing of the sort, honey. It's just a hole (feminine) in the wall (feminine), covered in transparent material (masculine)." Glass", needless to say, is neuter.
In order to mitigate the gendering issue somewhat, I am using examples of mommy and daddy to introduce my son to different words that connote the same animal of a different gender -- exception in vernacular English, a rule in Russian. Such as: "kot" (a male cat) and "koshka" (a female cat). Such as: "mama koshka, papa kot." Today my child, pensively looking at a farm animal puzzle, announced: "mama -- svinya" ("mama -- pig"). The deliciousness of this situation lies in the habit of my language to drop superfluous verbs when the meaning is obvious: "mama -- svinya" literally means "mom is a pig." I was further characterized as a she-goat and a chicken.
Perhaps not the smartest strategy, after all.
